Sep 19, 2010

Santoni's Silly Signage

As posted yesterday, the Santoni boutique on Madison Ave is closing and offering big bargains on hand-made shoes. Well, I stopped by and sure enough, there were plenty of signs posted on the windows indicating the imminent closing. Now, sales always bring a smile to my face, but this time the signs were the ones that made me chuckle. Here is what the signage states:

"Santoni Staff Reserves
The Right To:
CLOSE the store temporarily dependent upon the level of destruction wrought by women 
tearing through boxes (or men doing same)
Eject & Refuse Service To any man or woman who display blatant disregard for the boxes, the 
shoes within them or other customers or staff in their search for shoes. i.e; being a barbaric
shoe freak. These are only shoes. Your life will not be lost if you don't find a shoe. Relax.

And from the second sign:

The "No" Sale List
No RETURNS
NO EXCHANGES
NO REFUNDS
NO BEGGING
NO PLEADING
NO EXCUSES
NO HOLDS
***NO DOGS***
***NO BABY STROLLERS***
NO LAYAWAY
NO CHECKS
NO BARTER
NO BS
NO MERCY
NO KIDDING

ALL PURCHASES MUST BE TAKEN IN THE BOX
***We're not anti–dog or baby. We ARE anti–handmade shoe falling onto the head of your
dog or child and injuring them. It gets sort of nuts in here and we don't want the
defenseless to be injured. Thank you for your consideration of our concern for your two 
and four–legged loved ones.
SERVICE DOGS PERMITTED

It's good to see that the staff still has a sense of humor despite the closing of the boutique.
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